So I come home after yet another 13 hrs of madness.. sitting with dinner and tapping my fingers itching to watch Friends or The office but my stupid affection for KD.. heard she did well.. So I TOOK THE DIVE.. (well at least someone did.. tht Khai was waiting forever now LOL)
EHM epi(c) starts- mad woman with fittingly magical hair spray (kabhi frizzy... kabhi straight) screaming random bull crap hits the wooden separator.. w/e.. n tears both her sleeves (purani Ridz ke hain.. lmaooo dekhe se hi phat jaayenge.. dude been 10 yrs.. now dont ask me which Ridz.. m in d middle of one murder she wrote already).. ok focus.. mad car chase.. all the while moi thinking..wow the new girl makes weird faces.. tb ko cumpteesan... but why should she win.. new boy comes in.. same plastic exp.. screaming the golden name.. (Riya.. pyaar tune ye kya kiyaa.. ufff ye Ishqqqq) and asks random ppl on the road.. abt wifey.. one even more random viewers goes yeah saw her chased by a man.. (aunty ankhein hain ya lazer scanner.. ghadi ka brand nahi dekha.. yahi to maar kha gayi junta..)
Anyways moi enjoys my pie.. and at somepoint our 3 musketeers spot Viren's car.. and J starts her Einstein giri- arey ye to Viren ji ka wallet hain.. lmaooooo EUREKAAAA.. to kya Amitabh Bachchan ka expect kiya tha.. next to Virenji's car.. (wat brand of crack does the writer take).. moving on.. Manvi- the global heroine says her rapchik line.. arey itni bhayank jungle mein jiju kise dhund rahe hain (sheesh I tell ya.. entertainment park hi chose kar lete.. rides to free mein milte LOL) talking of free- chance pe dance.. Virat.. tum dono us side dekho main is side dekhta hoon (do I blame him.. itna golden chance.. the ghana the jungles n mast chance of getting rid of Manvi or even better behnas..)
Next scene- P.T Usha ki atma.... in one week that chick would have lost like 10 lbs fo sho.. at the marathons..and look at her bloody loyalty.. towards the singular khai point.. kudungi to YAHI SE.. agar kudungi nahi to I shall wait for my hubby at the edge.. hmppphhhhh.. anyhow.. R-darling pities apni J.. (expert comment- shakal dekhi hain.. lmaooo J ki.. u wont ever need to pity her..).. anyhow 5 mins of gibberish later (n 2 swigs of my beverage later) temporary good riddance..
Viren suddenly thinks he killed that loon.. although why would he.. beats me.. too tired to prod.. i'll sleep over that thought.. moving on.. tb ka gloden chance 2.. mera moment aa gaya.. now i will blink eyelids more.. wat do these newbies think.. axepresson mein mera koi takkar nahi.. kt tries to act decent.. but scratch that.. I am bawling and laughing.. poor poor tb.. his cumpeteesan for bad acting is tagda.. newbie guy comes with police.. and screams wife's name in what looks like 'I need to pee real bad so tell me if u r dead, n get done with it' look.. lmaoooooo.. and then goes to viren n elaborates.. i was looking around all this time with police ppl (bade mazaki ho.. at this rate.. my bladder hurts of all the laughs.. friends is tamer than this comedy).. J is like even I need to contri.. kameenoooo notice me.. I have vertigo.. everyone forgot here I am ready to pass out.. (touche babe.. dont blame u) .. Manvi doing idhar udhar.. sab footage kha rahe hain.. camera mein main hoon ki nahi.. behna hoon main.. khoon mein partnership..
anyhow premonition wale police ppl arrest viren for invisible murder.. lmaooo (murder they imagine) now I am all synced in with the show.. yeah baby! coz this is when I notice Viren's pink shirt with mustard brown pants n white shoes (full prepared.. get the worst out in the closet.. waise bhi jail hi jana hain.. lmaooooo).. mental kick.. KD part coming.. focus idiot focus.. be nice.. par kaise karoonnn.. one split sec of KDs tadap wala face n next sec tbs consitpated blinking eyes with some khufiya axpresson i cant read.. as usual.. but i defo laughhhh.. oh goddd what unintended comedy.. wadiya hain..
the only semblance bit- viren's look of pain and helplessness and incomprehension at J (or thats the hope coz they suddenly show phoot phoot ke crying M in d middle.. haiiiinnnn).. J suddenly makes a run (n m chiding myself here.. u moron feel the pain.. feel the pain..) but call it overworked.. lmaoooo all i think is.. J going diet plan.. run run run.. n VM going.. family marathon.. remembers good old bachchan.. insaan do hi baar aise daudta hain- ya olympic ka race ho ya police ka case ho.. (if in confusion, you are a bad bad ehm watcher).. hits head.. moment gone.. no emoson felt.. next min.. J is like zyada ho gaya.. m hitting low blood sugar.. ghar chalte hain.. waha wadera panchayat taiyaar hogi... LOL
oh no wait.. bad actor's oscar moment.. the epic emoting of loss of a dear one.. shessh edit kar dala.. is desh ka kuch nahi hoga i tell ya LOL.. next, oooooo my fave bit wadera panchayat.. dadaji barabar time pe tapak jaate hain.. superstar.. lmaooo wait did manvi drive d car.. virat behosh ho gaya kya.. 1 mile daudke. bahut kaam kar liya ek din mein.. alle le le
finale tridev bg mujik.. jab media ne kia atyaachaar.. dharti phati.. aur bahar nikli.. FIESTY J.. ho fiesty J.. aj trailer dikhaya.. kal ACTUAL ACTION.. KARARA JAWAAB MILEGA (kaan ke neeche).. lmaooo
P.S. but mystery solved.. tht pagal aurat Riya Malik is alter ego of Ridhima Malik.. no wonder uske purane phate salwars recycle karke pehen rahi thi.. Jai ho cinevistaa.. jai ho direction and crew (amateur is overstating it) n even bigger W for wasted soul tag to me for watching.. but eh.. at least it was FUN..
the question remains.. HOW FUN IS FUN.. lmaoooooooo
signing off the last 15 mins of total wtf-ery.. now i feel good enough of having not done anything useful for some part of the day.. m NORMAL.. (rolling eyes aint good for optic nerves.. case in point tb ki band bujh ankhein)
EHM epi(c) starts- mad woman with fittingly magical hair spray (kabhi frizzy... kabhi straight) screaming random bull crap hits the wooden separator.. w/e.. n tears both her sleeves (purani Ridz ke hain.. lmaooo dekhe se hi phat jaayenge.. dude been 10 yrs.. now dont ask me which Ridz.. m in d middle of one murder she wrote already).. ok focus.. mad car chase.. all the while moi thinking..wow the new girl makes weird faces.. tb ko cumpteesan... but why should she win.. new boy comes in.. same plastic exp.. screaming the golden name.. (Riya.. pyaar tune ye kya kiyaa.. ufff ye Ishqqqq) and asks random ppl on the road.. abt wifey.. one even more random viewers goes yeah saw her chased by a man.. (aunty ankhein hain ya lazer scanner.. ghadi ka brand nahi dekha.. yahi to maar kha gayi junta..)
Anyways moi enjoys my pie.. and at somepoint our 3 musketeers spot Viren's car.. and J starts her Einstein giri- arey ye to Viren ji ka wallet hain.. lmaooooo EUREKAAAA.. to kya Amitabh Bachchan ka expect kiya tha.. next to Virenji's car.. (wat brand of crack does the writer take).. moving on.. Manvi- the global heroine says her rapchik line.. arey itni bhayank jungle mein jiju kise dhund rahe hain (sheesh I tell ya.. entertainment park hi chose kar lete.. rides to free mein milte LOL) talking of free- chance pe dance.. Virat.. tum dono us side dekho main is side dekhta hoon (do I blame him.. itna golden chance.. the ghana the jungles n mast chance of getting rid of Manvi or even better behnas..)
Next scene- P.T Usha ki atma.... in one week that chick would have lost like 10 lbs fo sho.. at the marathons..and look at her bloody loyalty.. towards the singular khai point.. kudungi to YAHI SE.. agar kudungi nahi to I shall wait for my hubby at the edge.. hmppphhhhh.. anyhow.. R-darling pities apni J.. (expert comment- shakal dekhi hain.. lmaooo J ki.. u wont ever need to pity her..).. anyhow 5 mins of gibberish later (n 2 swigs of my beverage later) temporary good riddance..
Viren suddenly thinks he killed that loon.. although why would he.. beats me.. too tired to prod.. i'll sleep over that thought.. moving on.. tb ka gloden chance 2.. mera moment aa gaya.. now i will blink eyelids more.. wat do these newbies think.. axepresson mein mera koi takkar nahi.. kt tries to act decent.. but scratch that.. I am bawling and laughing.. poor poor tb.. his cumpeteesan for bad acting is tagda.. newbie guy comes with police.. and screams wife's name in what looks like 'I need to pee real bad so tell me if u r dead, n get done with it' look.. lmaoooooo.. and then goes to viren n elaborates.. i was looking around all this time with police ppl (bade mazaki ho.. at this rate.. my bladder hurts of all the laughs.. friends is tamer than this comedy).. J is like even I need to contri.. kameenoooo notice me.. I have vertigo.. everyone forgot here I am ready to pass out.. (touche babe.. dont blame u) .. Manvi doing idhar udhar.. sab footage kha rahe hain.. camera mein main hoon ki nahi.. behna hoon main.. khoon mein partnership..
anyhow premonition wale police ppl arrest viren for invisible murder.. lmaooo (murder they imagine) now I am all synced in with the show.. yeah baby! coz this is when I notice Viren's pink shirt with mustard brown pants n white shoes (full prepared.. get the worst out in the closet.. waise bhi jail hi jana hain.. lmaooooo).. mental kick.. KD part coming.. focus idiot focus.. be nice.. par kaise karoonnn.. one split sec of KDs tadap wala face n next sec tbs consitpated blinking eyes with some khufiya axpresson i cant read.. as usual.. but i defo laughhhh.. oh goddd what unintended comedy.. wadiya hain..
the only semblance bit- viren's look of pain and helplessness and incomprehension at J (or thats the hope coz they suddenly show phoot phoot ke crying M in d middle.. haiiiinnnn).. J suddenly makes a run (n m chiding myself here.. u moron feel the pain.. feel the pain..) but call it overworked.. lmaoooo all i think is.. J going diet plan.. run run run.. n VM going.. family marathon.. remembers good old bachchan.. insaan do hi baar aise daudta hain- ya olympic ka race ho ya police ka case ho.. (if in confusion, you are a bad bad ehm watcher).. hits head.. moment gone.. no emoson felt.. next min.. J is like zyada ho gaya.. m hitting low blood sugar.. ghar chalte hain.. waha wadera panchayat taiyaar hogi... LOL
oh no wait.. bad actor's oscar moment.. the epic emoting of loss of a dear one.. shessh edit kar dala.. is desh ka kuch nahi hoga i tell ya LOL.. next, oooooo my fave bit wadera panchayat.. dadaji barabar time pe tapak jaate hain.. superstar.. lmaooo wait did manvi drive d car.. virat behosh ho gaya kya.. 1 mile daudke. bahut kaam kar liya ek din mein.. alle le le
finale tridev bg mujik.. jab media ne kia atyaachaar.. dharti phati.. aur bahar nikli.. FIESTY J.. ho fiesty J.. aj trailer dikhaya.. kal ACTUAL ACTION.. KARARA JAWAAB MILEGA (kaan ke neeche).. lmaooo
P.S. but mystery solved.. tht pagal aurat Riya Malik is alter ego of Ridhima Malik.. no wonder uske purane phate salwars recycle karke pehen rahi thi.. Jai ho cinevistaa.. jai ho direction and crew (amateur is overstating it) n even bigger W for wasted soul tag to me for watching.. but eh.. at least it was FUN..
the question remains.. HOW FUN IS FUN.. lmaoooooooo
signing off the last 15 mins of total wtf-ery.. now i feel good enough of having not done anything useful for some part of the day.. m NORMAL.. (rolling eyes aint good for optic nerves.. case in point tb ki band bujh ankhein)
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